Friday, June 29, 2012

His Rhythm, Our Dance...

I am participating in Five Minute Friday with Lisa-Jo Baker again. I love joining up with her! She encourages me to be a better Mom, Wife, and mostly a more attentive woman after God's heart.

The prompt is Dance...

I have 5 minutes.

Here I go...

Since most days the music of my life sounds like the practice session of the Jr High marching band down the road, I have a hard time finding my rhythm.

It is not surprising with a life-full: my amazing Love, three busy birth sons, and several heart-daughters and heart-sons that I feel my rhythm is often a little "off".

And yet, it is right on...

The days when I feel off beat, it seems that I am more accurate in my obedience to all of what God asks of me.

I have to lean on Him for my rhythm, because I have none in myself (If you've ever seen me dance, you know this is true!)

My heart's desire is to obey Him at all times regardless of my comfort or personal logic. Holding on to Him is the only way to really dance.

Wednesday, June 27, 2012

Pressing into the Pain

I only have a few minutes to bust this out so please forgive any literary slack on my part.

I have been interceding for several people in a great deal of pain and felt the need to deposit some truth, some blessing and some prayer into cyberspace for you.

I will not go into theology on this but I pray you will take what I have to say to the Lord yourself and receive from Him what you need in this moment.

Pain is not to be feared. It is an opportunity to connect to God. He loves you. He is not the author of pain, He is the giver of Life.

Whether you know Him deeply or hardly speak to Him at all, He is passionate about you and your life. He cares more about your situation than you can even imagine and He saw all the wounds that your heart has received.

When we are in pain we often want to run, hide or medicate it.


I know.

It's hard.

Only God knows the full depth of your heart and only He can meet the needs you have.

Ask Him to reveal Himself to you.

Ask Him to show you that He sees you.

If you are a believer in Christ as your Lord and Savior, put on some worship music and begin thanking Him. Worship and Thankfulness are like fuel to the weary soul.

If you don't know Jesus as your Lord, ask Him to be. Christianity may be a "religion" for some, but for me it is the source of the deepest, most secure and powerful relationship of my life. You need Him. Not "religion".

Find a Bible or get on Bible Gateway and read Psalm 139 it will speak of how God values you. David, who wrote it understood the height, depth and breadth of God's amazing love for him.

I pray you do too.

You matter.
You are loved.

Friday, June 22, 2012

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Five Minute Friday With Lisa-Jo --- Write straight for 5 minutes on the topic posted. No real editing or hesitating. Go back and link up and comment on the one before yours… I LOVE IT!!!


"And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom. "   Anais Nin

 This was the quote that came to mind.

I choose to blossom – even when I want to hide.

I know that Christ is in me and He will do more through me then I could ever do on my own --- BUT the RISK (mostly to my heart) THAT is terrifying!

I’ve been hurt, I’ve let go of ones I love to Heaven and I’ve had to say goodbye. It makes me feel like a part of me is gone with them. Am I really less of me? Or am I more like Christ? Am I experiencing the “sufferings of Christ” (1 Cor 1:5) that the Bible speaks about?

I would take the verse “Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.” (John 15:13) and say it feels like, “greater RISK has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.” I put that verse in my signature in the yearbooks I signed in High School. I had only a partial idea of what that looked like back then.


The choice is intense. It opens so much up to breathtaking pain which you often have to experience before the breathtaking JOY.

The Bible says, “fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before Him He endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.” (Hebrews 12:2)

The JOY set before me is walking in the call God has placed on my life (upcoming blog). Complete with all the RISKs involved. I will endure the pain, because the JOY of loving and serving my God is the only way I want to live.


Monday, June 18, 2012


It all started Friday night when I went to pick up my lovely heart-daughter from a child care job at church...

I knew they were having a healing prayer meeting in the sanctuary and it looked like they were just wrapping up. I have been "benched" for four months due to achillies tendoinitis on my right leg. I have prayed myself and I know others have prayed for me to be healed, but the last few weeks I have become more frustrated with what seems like FOREVER for it to get better.

I felt a nudge to just go in and catch the end of the meeting. I stayed at the back and literally two minutes later they asked if anyone wanted prayer to please come forward. So I did.

A few women circled around me and talked with me about my tendonitis. As they began to pray I felt the quarter size knot in my tendon get very warm. I have prayed for others before, feeling the heat in my hands even before I touched them. I know it is a sign of God's Healing touch.

My personal relationship with the Lord and my familiarity with the Bible make me confident of His concern and His passion for healing me. When they were praying for me I was reminded of a fear I have about my tendon never getting better and then I will never be able to do what I know I was made to be - an athlete. I have had a date with Ironman 2016 for a year now and I have been worried these past few months about wether it would even happen because of a threat of this becoming a chronic injury.

We prayed and asked God to take the fear away and I felt a tremendous release of something I didn't even know was lurking in the background of my mind. The heat continued on the knot and after a few minutes I reached down to touch it.

My quarter size knot had SHRUNK to the size of a pea!!! How incredible is that?!!?

I am still excited about it! So many question God's healing touch. I have known in my head that it is real but to tangibly experience it personally in a big way - THAT is AWESOME!

Later, after the prayer for healing, the group took turns praying for each other. I knew several of the people there, but not all of them. Many prayed words of encouragement regarding things I had been praying about only deep in my heart. God's presence was with us and He revealed answers to questions I had, some heart pain, and provided more clarity on the path He has led me to.

I was prayerful and tearful and touched by my brothers and sisters that love Jesus like I do. I KNOW God changed me forever that night. Without a doubt.

The next day I had the opportunity to test my freshly healed tendon. I walked the boys to the park and then later did an almost six mile bike ride with my Love. At the end of the bike ride the knot was completely gone. It did get a little more inflamation back in it later that day after my body "cooled down" a bit but it is still the size of a pea. I iced it and have taken good care of it KNOWING it has been healed.

There is no way anyone but God could have healed me. I have done everything possible to try to get it better myself and nothing has worked. But as of Friday, June 15, 2012 it has been healed. Now don't think I am going to start marathon training tomorrow, but I am definitely back to workouts and looking forward to a good run very soon!

Monday, June 11, 2012

I Am Blessed

The sweat drips from my brow as I navigate the three fellas joining my short workout. Trying not to kick, step on or punch any of them distracts me from the muscles. They delight me, they test me, they make me see the small and grab hold of the big. I am blessed.

Making muffins isn’t much of a “wow”. Basic ingredients dump together to make yummy healthy goodness. I take them to my Love.  Sitting across the desk from him I am impacted by the weight his shoulders bear for the pursuit of excellence in workplace and provision for home. I smile. He says “thank you”, but I am sure I am the one more grateful. I am blessed.

 I run, flip flop footed without losing breath the 75yards to my middle little who crashed on his scooter. The shrieks stress the neighbors but I am assured, his airway, breathing and circulation are adequate. There is some blood, but road rash does that. Carrying him from the crash I note how big he’s getting with the paradoxical feelings of joy and sorrow. Eight band aids, some antibiotic cream, a few tickles and mentions about what his flying off the scooter stunt must have looked like squeeze the giggles from his tear stained face. I am blessed.

There is a meeting in the living room. My elders sandwich a dear one. We pray together, believing for release, declaring truth and calling forth destiny. He moves with Love and Healing. We enjoy being in this place together. This is a place of family, united in heart, moved by Spirit. I am blessed.

We have an accidental puddle splash and booty landing at the park. Milkshakes with whip cream and my heart-son wait. Restaurant booth becomes “kissing booth” as two little fellas decide to smother this mother with their kisses. I make note I should sit them in booths more often. Big son smiles, hugs and pours out his blessing on little brothers with a kindness that comes from within. My youngest seeks keys, receives them and gives big hugs of thanks to legs much longer than his. I see the eyes of the fellas around me, twinkled with fullness of heart and bubbling with joy. I am blessed.

Errands done, beloved ones reunited, tall heart-daughter counsels a dear friend or two. Little boys play with keys, Legos and Wii drawing the last of their busy second wind to a close. Dinner eaten with minimal protest though dessert denied due to marginally acceptable table behaviors. Off to bed go the weary fellas for tomorrow there will be more fun to be had. I am blessed.

My Love and I land cross words in miscommunication. Tempers flare and impatience roars. We battle not against each other but for understandings lost in the shuffle of life. We press in together shifting words, navigating frayed fuses and seeking then accepting forgiveness. We know it is not wrong to duel, only wrong to leave it undone. Our marriage process is ours to live wisely, knowing those observing have hearts involved too.  Unified we remain, entwined in purpose and vision. I am blessed.

The project in the garage calls him out while the stray Crunchberries from first day of summer breakfast need swept.  Kitchen clean, leftovers contained, my fingers are drawn to keys. Given twenty-six letters I tap out a few gifts from today.  I am blessed.

Friday, June 8, 2012

More Kids, A Shiner, and Green Waffles

I started thinking about my "Fess Up Post on Tuesday. I thought the following day was Friday. Silly me. But my dear friend Kira humored me an posted what is my favorite consistent blogging endeavor..." target="_blank" title="Kissing the Joy">" border="0" alt="Photobucket">

I made this... I have recently begun making breakfast and lunch for my husband every morning. Tuesday morning to be exact... the day I sent the idea to my friend for a "Fess Up" post. It made me laugh. Hard. At 6:15am. If my Love wasn't so cute, I'd be more annoyed about being up at that hour. But I like writing notes on his napkins and packing him carrots I am not sure if he'll eat.

I have been taking some pictures of some of the basic daily moments. Yes, that is clean laundry not put away from the night before on the back of the couch. I am not going to lie, I have started looking in the backgrounds of other pictures too... I am glad I am not the only one with random household imperfections.

I have recently aquired some additional kids... They don't require too much extra housework. Just occaisional feeding, naps on the couch, and to share their toys. They are between the ages of 19 - 25 and are interns at our church. I really like them. Nope, I love them... and they love me and my family.

I was kind of a sissy about soccer this year. It was a little crazy juggling two boys games at the same time. Several times they had games on different fields at close to the same time. AND it was VERY cold almost every single game. It would have been even harder but I have a sweet new friend with a darling little girl who came out to watch with us.

We all love little girls!

My youngest has a thing for wearing his shirts backwards. You would be amazed at how many people ask if I know he had his shirt on the wrong way... Really?

My oldest found a kid on the playground with a short fuse. He lost his tooth the week before, but it still looks like it goes together. It was a pretty impressive shiner! He told the other kid he forgave him and they were playing together the next day at recess.

Many mornings this is what I see when I get up. I dread the day they don't fit on the couch together.

I LOVE sidewalk chalk. And my oldest thinks its a great way to mark his territory.

We've had several birthday celebrations. We had blower battles at Nana's birthday party, I had my first attempt at tie dye, made green birthday waffles, and held my tongue when my son chose a creative wardrobe. You should have seen him with the sunglasses and sweatshirt cape... I missed that picture! But the light saber cupcakes went over well.

And its June here in Idaho... which means I still haven't put away my favorite socks. But it's okay. They make me happy!

Wednesday, June 6, 2012

John Erik

Pondering the gift he is combined with the challenges specific to raising him, this is what fell out of my heart this morning:

Eight Years Old

John of my heart
Named after the disciple and your god-father
The richness of God's gift in you
Challenges me and has changed me.

The beauty of who you are
Takes my breath away.
The depth of your heart
Moves me to assess my own.

The challenge of raising you
Is my reward for a decade of prayers
Now I lean on Him trusting
He will help us shape who you will become.

I am a very grateful Mom.

Friday, June 1, 2012

See - With Your Heart

I took 5 minutes to join the Gypsy Mama on Five Minute Friday

I have often found that seeing with my eyes is pretty messy. Looking at circumstances, people, and places with just my natural sight leaves a lot of things out.

When I look at my kitchen I can see the yucky pink counter top or the fact that it is pretty much a "one butt kitchen".

But when I see it with my heart, I see the place that my boys can now make their own toast, the counter that has had countless cookies, pancakes, fingerprints, messes, and sticky spots I only find AFTER I think I've cleaned it all.

It's crazy to me that when I truly see with my heart, the things that matter stand out so much more than the things my vision picks out. And from a messy, sticky pink counter can come the richest and most delicious slices of life (and chocolate cake).

Here's to seeing with my heart today!

Who am I?

My photo
I have been married to my best friend for over 26 years and our children are 14, 13 and 10 years old. I have struggled with infertility, suffered the loss of a baby by miscarriage, and endured multiple career paths. I have experienced a crisis of faith that shook me to the core and lost dear friends to tragic death. I have a personal relationship with Jesus which is essential to surviving and even thriving in my circumstances. I hope you will be blessed by my heart and words. Thank you for being here..