Saturday, December 13, 2008

Soooo what's next???

My husband and James headed off to Washington DC to do this year's missions trip to Urban Outreach. God provided just enough for them to go. He is so good to meet our needs. John, Peter and I have had a great few days together and by all reports, Erik and James have had lots of great Daddy-Son time too. They come home tomorrow night and I will be glad to have us all back under one roof.

OK, today is almost over. It has been nice. Snow day, baked cookies with John, played with my boys, laughed a little, cried a little (grieving for baby Owen, Jake, and my baby Joy), enjoyed the Christmas music, looked at the tree, a friend brought John and I dinner just because, and I plan to curl up with a blanket on the sofa and watch a movie - or paint my toenails red - or both before the day is done.

But what is next? Bed of course, but really, the Lord mapped out my day nicely for me. Will He map out the day tomorrow as well? Sure. But will I listen? I hope so.

All that to say, I am thinking about Christmas and how, when Jesus was born there was already a plan in place for what was next. The Father, the Son, and Holy Spirit had it all mapped out. They had a plan. Joseph, Mary, Peter, James, John, Paul, and countless others would play an important role in the plan but they had no idea what was coming.

My point? God has a plan. I don't have to know what it is. I just have to wake up listening for His voice each morning trusting Him to reveal what I need to know when I need to know it.

I miss my baby. She would be 15mos old right now. Owen should be just about 9 months old, and Jake should have just turned 21. But God has a plan. Some of the reasons for our losses will be revealed here on earth. Some won't. But trusting the character of the Creator of our life will be the only way to survive with any kind of peace in the storms.

I love my Peter. He was God's plan for "what's next" after I lost Joy back to the arms of Heaven. He is a priceless gift that reminds me every day that God sees me. He knows my heart and every breath I take. He is just one example of the "what's next" that can happen as we wait on the Lord. One of my favorite songs that my friend Fay sings is:

Strength will rise as we wait upon the Lord, as we wait upon the Lord, as we wait upon the Lord

Waiting in faith brings strength. We, most of us at least, don't like to wait. BUT, when we do, there is a blessing. Our faith is strengthened, our focus is directed at the One who loves us with an everlasting love and we receive peace.

Try not to look too far past this wonderful season and wonder what is next. Fix your eyes on the Author and Perfecter of our faith and let your strength rise as you wait on Him to see what's next!

Who am I?

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I have been married to my best friend for over 29 years and our children are 16, 15 and 12 years old. I have struggled with infertility, suffered the loss of a baby by miscarriage, and endured multiple career paths. I have experienced a crisis of faith that shook me to the core and lost dear friends to tragic death. I have a personal relationship with Jesus which is essential to surviving and even thriving in my circumstances. I hope you will be blessed by my heart and words. Thank you for being here..