Sunday, July 11, 2010

What to do when you don't know what to do...

Wow. What a weekend.
So many people I know are in pain right now. Relationships are hurt and being hurt. I have several friends struggling in their marriages, several friends struggling in relationships with their families, several issues I am processing in my own life, and the list goes on.

Here's the thing,

It is all quite overwhelming if you forget how big our God is. Not only is He big, He is not stunned by the turn of events that has occurred in any of our lives.

John 16:33 says something we really need to keep in mind during hard times:

"I have told you these things, so that in Me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world." - Jesus

We need to reach for and believe in the Peace that we only find in Him. If we aren't finding peace, then we need to ask those we know that have His peace to pray for us. I do that. I have His peace within me, but I still need someone to pray for me when I find that peace elusive. 

Please don't weather the storms of life alone. Reach out to those who love you. Reach out for people you know who have strength you don't. Reach out to God. He loves you.

Friday, July 9, 2010

Finishing Well...

Today my swim instructor asked me a question I hadn't thought about yet regarding my triathlon race.

He asked me, "What's the payoff?" I looked a bit confused I think and he clarified, "what do you get if you do this?" I looked up at him from the pool and answered, "I want to finish and finish well." He looked a little stunned. Then he smiled down at me and said, "That's great!".

I have been thinking about that all day. I didn't really think long about the answer, it just came out once I understood what he was asking. It's really how I feel about everything I do.

How well I do something is really only up to me. God will give me strength to go farther than I think I can and with my faith in Him I can do the stuff that is hard for me to do, the Holy Spirit gives me the insight on what to pursue and when, but in the end, here on this earth, I am using all He has given me to live this life to the best of my ability.

Take my marriage for example, what's the payoff there? I work hard to be respectful of my man. I choose daily to make decisions that will bless my husband and my marriage. The interesting thing is that I have found concerning my marriage is that it is more about me and my relationship with the Lord then my relationship with my husband. It is God that I told I would love, honor and cherish my husband. Yes, I told him too, but my commitment was made to God. I don't get to be comfortable in our marriage. I get to chose to walk by faith and believe God is at work in my life (whether I like it or not) through my husband. Everywhere I feel a lack - it is God's job to fill it. Erik, he is human and his heart is for me but he won't always get it right. But, my God, He always knows what I need, and He loves me enough to give it to me. When I receive what God provides, it is easier to face the challenges or even disappointments of marriage. In the end, I want to "finish well". When I stand before God at the end of my life and I have to answer for the decisions I have made, I want to know I did every thing He asked me to, regardless of my personal comfort.

And my parenting. Finishing well in the process of parenting feels like a moving target. And, honestly, I think it is. As you start to adjust to your kids, they change and you have to start again. Does that mean I shouldn't try though? Every day I want to reflect what I am learning from the Lord onto my kids. I want them to know the process and not just the end result. I frequently repent to God and then to them for unfortunate choices in my attitude and my behavior. Praying in front of them about my failings makes them aware that it is OK for them to make mistakes and then to know what to do to bring healing to the situation. They know I am not perfect, and my confessions and repentance and then asking Jesus and them to forgive me makes it okay for them to make mistakes too.

You see, God made us to finish well. There is nothing He created that is incapable of doing that. Free will allows us to make the choice about whether we will or not.

I want to finish well. That is my pay off.

Monday, July 5, 2010

Getting Sick

I woke up this morning with nasty sinus drainage. I took tons of vitamins and tried not to really work too much around the house. But, after I cleaned up after my yard sale on Friday, took the leftovers to the thrift store, made waffles for breakfast, cheese and crackers (I did not "make" these from scratch) for lunch, and grilled shrimp & chicken and veggies for dinner, bathed the boys, read to them, cleaned the kitchen, hit the grocery store for some more milk (I really should own a cow), changed the sheets on the baby's bed, and searched the web for possible places to stay while we are in Colorado this month, I decided to sit and rest.

I am praying for a full night sleep tonight. It has been at least 2 weeks since one of my kids hasn't been up in the night for one reason or another.

Please pray for speedy healing. I really am a little paranoid about getting sick and derailing yet another week of my training.


Sunday, July 4, 2010

I love you Mom!

My kids say "I love you" a lot. Since they started speaking, it is not uncommon for it to be said many times every day. Sometimes, other people get told "I love you" a lot too.

It is a spontaneous eruption that comes from their little hearts. Some people don't know what to do about it. Others just smile and say, "I love you too".

The days when they say it over and over again - to the point where you wonder if they really mean it or if they just don't know what to say, I have tuned into their "happy" factor. The days when it comes out the most is when they are happiest, most "full" of heart and content with their world. It is precious.

I never want to take those three little words for granted, EVER.

Erik and I have said "I love you" often to each other. We say it at least 3-4 times a day. When my heart is happy and I am content and looking at the man God provided for me I may blurt it out several more times. I imagine my little fellas learned to be free with those words from me. I am thankful for that.

You see, I don't think you can say these three precious words enough. Just ask the ones who have lost those they love.

My journey to better health is not so much about being thinner, faster, or stronger, but about my love for my God, my family, and my precious friends God has gifted me with.

I love you!

Who am I?

My photo
I have been married to my best friend for over 26 years and our children are 14, 13 and 10 years old. I have struggled with infertility, suffered the loss of a baby by miscarriage, and endured multiple career paths. I have experienced a crisis of faith that shook me to the core and lost dear friends to tragic death. I have a personal relationship with Jesus which is essential to surviving and even thriving in my circumstances. I hope you will be blessed by my heart and words. Thank you for being here..