Wednesday, April 17, 2013

Pain is a Pain!

Several of you have asked what is going on with me over the past few weeks. I am going to try to keep it simple as to not air out all my process in public but many of you care so I feel compelled to share at least some of it.

For many years I have struggled with my weight and with depression. Both of which are genetic predispositions, but nothing I haven't worked diligently to deal with both nutritionally and with fitness.

About four weeks ago I had six migraines in eight days. VERY unusual for me when I typically will get one or two a year, maybe. I had a reprieve one day and decided to try a Pilates class, which I loved until my heart rate was up and I did a "Downward Dog" and it felt like my head would explode off my neck. It was quite alarming.

I went to the doctor and my blood pressure was 140/100 also VERY unusual for me. I have always had a lower than normal blood pressure. Even when I was full term with my youngest and heavier than I'd ever been in my life my BP was right around normal.

He ran a FULL spectrum of blood work and suggested a sleep study. He indicated that we needed to look at my weight and depression issues as symptoms instead of causes for many of the things happening with my body.

EVERY blood test was within the normal range. The only one that was on the low end of normal was vitamin D (normal for this part of the country). No diabetes, no high cholesterol, none of the things that would come from my being medically categorized as "morbidly obese" for over 10 years.

Last week I did a sleep study. A bazillion electrodes and wires, snore monitor, etc were attached to me and I managed to sleep with a little medicinal assistance. The technician told me that in order to meet the insurance requirements for assistance with a CPAP machine I needed to stop breathing at least 20 times for 10 seconds each within an hour's time. At some time in the night she came in and hooked me up to the machine. It felt weird but she had coached me how to use it before I went to bed. She told me the next morning that I easily met the requirements and she felt like it could really help me.

The headaches continue daily. I sleep occasionally. Sometimes I use medicine to sleep and it helps.

I am very aware of God's presence and Healing Power in this process. He keeps speaking to me about trusting Him in this. I know answers will come. I know the healing will come.

Persistent pain is incredibly exhausting. I MISS working out. Anytime my heart rate goes up everything feels worse. The medicine I am on for my blood pressure is helping but until we have more answers, or I have complete healing, I am where I am.

What triggered all of this?

In January I began going through some healing for some deep heart hurts. Our oldest son has been having trouble in school, we discovered he needs hearing aids and God answered my prayer to bless our marriage with a "tune up" to remove some old patterns of communicating and replace with better more effective ones.

God has moved in powerful ways in our marriage and in our family. He has provided funds for hearing aids and for the sleep study (most of which were not included in our insurance). He has provided help from dear friends with prayers, encouragement and child care. He has built up and strengthened our communication in our marriage and it is better than ever.

And now this physical stuff has started with me...

I trust Him for my healing. I trust Him for the provision for the needs of my Love and our family.

Thanks for your prayers, if you feel led to do so.

Friday, April 5, 2013

After... - WHEN is that?!

Writing with Lisa Jo Baker for Five Minute Friday again today.

I have five minutes to spill out whatever pops out of my brain through my fingers on the word AFTER.

GO:

Many of my thoughts for years have started with that word:
After...
... I can get some sleep
... they get out of diapers
... I lose the weight
... they don't need me so much
... I can get organized
... I get some different furniture
... I have a bigger kitchen

Do you see where I am going? How many things do I miss out on waiting for "after"?

I read Lisa Jo's blog often and wonder how she writes. It seems like life is plenty busy for her but she still manages to spill over me gracious wise words that refresh my soul.

I want to write like that. I want to know how to organize my time and life in such a way that the gifts that I've been given have a place to pour out and bless the people around me.

I think NOW is the time. Not AFTER... otherwise I will miss something waiting for the AFTER...

STOP.

Who am I?

My photo
I have been married to my best friend for over 29 years and our children are 16, 15 and 12 years old. I have struggled with infertility, suffered the loss of a baby by miscarriage, and endured multiple career paths. I have experienced a crisis of faith that shook me to the core and lost dear friends to tragic death. I have a personal relationship with Jesus which is essential to surviving and even thriving in my circumstances. I hope you will be blessed by my heart and words. Thank you for being here..