Friday, August 31, 2012

CHANGE - Perspective

Its Friday and I am posting with Lisa-Jo Baker on Five Minute Friday - not Tuesday or Wednesday the following week! YAY!
For the past couple of weeks I have been battling a whole new layer of anxiety. I have struggled with anxiety/depression for most of my life. Someday I will elaborate on the roots of it all, but it's not relevant for the purpose of this post.
Most of my anxiety this time has been related to my kids going back to school. I am sure I am not the only one.
I am not only concerned about them returning to their other "life" that is apart from me, where they grow outside the "womb" of our home, but also concerned about how they present themselves to the world.
Have I taught them enough?
Will they be a blessing?
Will they reflect who they are in Christ or the sin they have seen in me?
Will others treat them like the amazing people they are?
Will there be enough grace to cover their imperfections and mine?
The rapid fire nature of these questions and others can make my heart race with nervous tension and my extremely solid faith in who Christ is in me quake like a 8.0 on the Richter scale.
But here is what rose up in my heart this morning:
I have given myself to Him - told Him I will do whatever He asks of me, regardless of my comfort and if I have to live like this:  
 At first glance its just a pair of little boy thongs, but as you look closely you see that one part is broken (a key part). I shall live - flaws exposed so that His glory may be revealed not only in the parts of me that function well, but in the parts of me that need repair. 

2 Corinthians 12:9
But He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for My power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.

My oldest is plunging into third grade with some learning challenges that will require lots of grace, consistency and encouragement, my middle fella is leaping into second grade with enthusiasm and younger than most second graders, and my youngest, he will be with me, serving wherever the Lord leads, on any given day adding his spicy nature into the mix of ministry and household maintenance.

My perspective needs a CHANGE. His has never changed. It's about Him, for Him and because of Him that I live. For those who know Him, for those who don't, and for all who are in the middle, on their journey, not sure it where it will lead - I need to be who He made me to be and teach my fellas to do the same. Every day. No matter where we are.
He sees the beauty of the process. He sees the beauty of who I am and who they are. My perspective needs to be His. That is the kind of CHANGE I choose.

Wednesday, August 29, 2012

Join (Even When It's Hard)

It's taken me until Wednesday to get my "Five Minute Friday" writing done, but this prompt took some time to germinate in my soul." title="Five Minute Friday">
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I am great at joining exciting and fun activities, events and clubs. It is pretty cool to be a part of something that influences the world in a positive way.


What about joining the lost, depressed, broken or needy?

I am going to be transparent here. It isn't fun. But, you knew that.

Jesus did it. He's asked me to join Him. He's asked us all to join Him. If we call Him our Lord and Savior then we need to respond and act as He did. As He leads.

He joined even the dead (Lazarus) and brought him back to life.

He joins me in my brokenness and forgives me when I ask. His gift of Salvation sealed forever by His death on the Cross for me (and for you too).

One of the greatest gifts I can give in response to His gift to me is to join Him as He leads me to walk beside, touch, and pray with those He loves.

It is hard to climb into the muddy sticky mess of life next to someone in pain. But He did. So I will.


Friday, August 17, 2012

Stretch - Five Minute Friday with Lisa Jo Baker" title="Five Minute Friday">
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This is such a great opportunity to join with other bloggers! You will find more information HERE about how to be a part of this great community!

So here are my 5 minutes on S-T-R-E-T-C-H...

This weekend I will be taking on my 4th Sprint Triathlon. In some ways it won't be a stretch since it is the first time I have repeated a race course so I already know what to expect.  But with my sensitive achillies tendon I will be very careful on the run.

By the time I get to the last third of the triathlon - the run - I am like a barn sour horse that can't wait to get to the finish line.

But not this weekend. I am shooting for Ironman 2016 as a long term goal. I have had achillies tendonitis for months and after the doc told me to STOP running I had to listen so I wouldn't cause a permanent cronic injury. That was a stretch!!!

I went to church for a healing prayer service and God healed it. I have gone back and forth with Him about why He didn't heal me all the way complete with no residual challenge but He did not. I have heard very clearly from Him that I am to lean on Him for all of my physical endeavors and trust Him for all the finish lines He's asked me to cross.

This weekend I will stretch by most likely having to WALK the run portion. People will be passing me and telling me "You can do this!" and encouraging me to move faster. I will only run if there is NO PAIN in my achillies.

Hearing His voice, obeying it, especially in the details of life will stretch me this weekend. But it will be good. Because He is good!

Friday, August 3, 2012

Here Am I... Send Me." title="Five Minute Friday"> Five Minute Friday
(I have NO idea why the great Five Minute Friday picture isn't showing up. Those of you who know blog stuff - please drop me a note and let me know what to do! Thanks!)

Five Minute Friday bekons me again. I didn't even get half way though my post last week. It's still saved in a draft form... maybe soon.

But this week I am carving out my five minutes to let it fall out of me - the blog-jam in my head.


Isaiah has always been one of my favorite books, but Chapter 6: 1-8 has held my heart for years. I recommend you take a minute to read it if you have the time.

HERE is where I am:
- I want to go where He sends me. Right now, it looks like I will most likely be sent to the kitchen to empty the dishwasher and make breakfast for my three hungry fellas.
- Then I will be sent to the shower to pull together my thoughts while I scrub the sleepys away and get ready for whatever "HERE" place He calls me to next.

The more I lean into Him for even the "small" places He wants to send me, the more I discipline myself to hear His ever present voice.

"Go into the room where they are - be with them. I know Legos aren't your thing. Be with them in their space. Let go of what you want and need. Meet their need. I will take care of you." my God says to me.

"Yes, Lord" is my common response. Even when it's hard. I am willing to be sent, even if it is just to the other room.


Who am I?

My photo
I have been married to my best friend for over 26 years and our children are 14, 13 and 10 years old. I have struggled with infertility, suffered the loss of a baby by miscarriage, and endured multiple career paths. I have experienced a crisis of faith that shook me to the core and lost dear friends to tragic death. I have a personal relationship with Jesus which is essential to surviving and even thriving in my circumstances. I hope you will be blessed by my heart and words. Thank you for being here..