So, you already know my little fellas are busy. You know I struggle at times to find the humor in it and you know I wonder if this season of "creative" activities will ever end. Not today.
As I look at the glitter stained (perhaps cemented is a better word) tabletop in my scrapbook room and contemplate the damage done to the 70year old hymnals with dragonfly stamps on them and in them coated in glitter I count myself blessed. I prayed for these days. I begged God for them and here they are and I have to work hard at not praying for them to end.
I have decided that the creative pursuits of my children should not be punished. Discussed and encouraged to seek mommy's assistance before "artwork" happens, but not punished. I want them to be creative and I want them to learn how to respect other peoples stuff. Daddy has a different philosophy after the pen drawing on the back of the drivers seat in the car, but we won't go into that. Basically, car and art do not go together any more.
My youngest is perpetually throwing himself on the floor expressing an alternate opinion to my own, blowing raspberries all the time, throwing everything that might be in his way and finally, shrieking regularly at octaves that make your ears ache. Blow on his tummy and he cackles and giggles. Smooch his little neck and watch him wiggle with delight. Peter's sweet blue eyes twinkle with mischief I have yet to experience from his brothers and I love it! I love that he is his own little person. I love that his opinions are so important they are worth throwing himself over for. That kind of raw emotion is so real that it reminds me how necessary it is for me to allow him to become the guy God designed him to be. I pray regularly that I will be able to channel all that passion in all the right directions. He is so incredible.
My middle guy is a treat. His smile could make flowers bloom. His scream can make your ears bleed. His laughter is so contagious! He is also becoming his own guy. He isn't following John like he once did. Naturally there is some additional conflict that arises. James is learning how to be James and not copying John. He is also not fond of going along with whatever anyone else says. Not only is he rebelling at John's control of him but of anything that seems controlling from the adults around him. He can debate and argue like a champ, often getting my "goat", much to my dismay. He is a daily education for me. I'm the Mommy, You are the child, God loves you, yes I have to discipline you, no I don't want to, yes it will make you sad, no you can't choose the discipline, yes you need to obey, etc. James blossoming independence is a gift. I have asked God to show him who he is and sure enough, He is doing just that. James keeps my perspective in check -- my eyes on the big picture instead of the momentary lack of respect. He is a strong little guy and he will lead many to Christ someday. His destiny is ordained and blessed by the Living God.
My oldest, John is about to begin his education outside of our home. He is starting Kindergarten in the fall and I am adjusting already to other people having more influence in his life. Have I done enough? Will he be safe? How will I know? A whole new way to trust the Lord, no doubt.
He too is becoming stronger and more confident in who he is. He has the courage to look me in the eye and yell "no" when he disagrees and then he has the humility, when corrected, to ask for forgiveness. He is becoming wiser in his choices and faster to obey. He still loves to lay his face on mine when I haven't moved over enough for him to share my pillow. He is very funny. He can build a puzzle in less than 10 minutes and can create hot wheels race tracks you can't even imagine. He loves cars and the color pink. He has learned to ride his bike without the training wheels while his mommy cried into the speaker of the video camera. He makes me want to be a better mommy because he is so passionate about being a great John. We are in the "superhero" stage and that makes a lot of things fun. He is a wonderful big brother and a loving friend too. Late last night when I went in to cover him up he stirred and started talking in his sleep. He said, "don't be mean to him, he's my brother". I love who he is and I am so excited to watch God's will for his life fulfilled.
I am learning and growing along with them. It isn't always fun or easy, but it is always good. Just like the God we know and are learning to serve.
Tuesday, June 23, 2009
Who am I?
- Jennifer - Live Courageous!
- I have been married to my best friend for over 26 years and our children are 14, 13 and 10 years old. I have struggled with infertility, suffered the loss of a baby by miscarriage, and endured multiple career paths. I have experienced a crisis of faith that shook me to the core and lost dear friends to tragic death. I have a personal relationship with Jesus which is essential to surviving and even thriving in my circumstances. I hope you will be blessed by my heart and words. Thank you for being here..