Wednesday, October 1, 2008

I thought I had it all together ...

Until I realized my pants were on backward. Yes, that's right. Now, don't get me wrong, I was NOT wearing blue jeans, that would have been ridiculous. But my knit black Capri's were feeling pretty loose in front that morning and I just assumed that my weight loss was continuing to be a success without massive effort on my part.

Not so much.

Here is how something like that could have happened...
My trip to see my sister and parents in Hawaii was wonderful. However, I have yet to recover my regular routine or household order so every day I am just trying to get it back - apparently not very well.

I was so proud of myself that day. I woke up, got the kids dressed, breakfast, ready to go and out the door - ON TIME! Whew! I was thrilled to have them each checked into their classes and get to my own before it began. I enjoyed every moment of the worship before my bible study on Shepherding a Child's Heart. I had received a verse from the Lord to meditate on and even some clear direction on how to involve scripture in the lives of my very little boys.

And then, I needed to use the rest room. Not a big deal usually, but as I was pulling up my pants I noticed the white tag - in front. I laughed. Out loud in the bathroom alone. Yep, go figure. Pants on backwards. It just cracked me up. I felt beautiful that day and had received many compliments... thankfully they could not see the drawstring ties right above my rear!! Anyway, it was funny. Not at all dampening my mood, just a reminder that just when I think I have it all together, take another look in the mirror, just to make sure!!

Then it happened - would I still be laughing by the end of the day??? NOPE. Wish I could say that my sense of humor carried through the next half hour, but it really didn't.

One of the sweet child care workers came to get me about 10 minutes into our discussion time. Apparently my dear little #1 had gone #2 in his pants and required attention. The wonderful gal to my left said she had a pull up I could use and some wipes, so I didn't have to just pack up and leave. I went down to his class and called him out of the room (with some distress on his part since it was "snack time".) I took him to the main restroom, noticing that the other study group was still in session so I could just quickly clean him up and get back to class.

Not so much.

The #2 could only be described as some sort of intestinal explosion that coated all of one leg, sock and shoe included. Suddenly overcome with a wave of humiliation and frustration I began to cry. Why does my kid have to do this, especially today when I thought everything was going to be great-even if my pants were on backward!

A dear woman came out of the bathroom and offered to help. I blankly looked up and said I could manage, thinking are you kidding? YUCK! even I don't want to do this! I said no, but she offered to pray and of course I started crying for real now. She stopped, got a wad of paper towels, coated them in soapy water and began to help me clean up my son. I know Jesus washed the disciples feet and that was no picnic, but this beautiful angel came to my rescue and helped me scrape poo off my boy. She was loving to him and me, tended to us both, prayed over us and headed back to her bible study. I knew her in passing, but not well. Now, I see her as one of the delightful members of the Body of Christ who truly sacrificially SERVED me and my dear son. There were several other women who stopped in to do the usual thing expected in a restroom that were tender and concerned and even helped with a towel and replacement pants. Their compassion was wonderful, but I have never experienced the kind of ministry before that helps clean up that kind of actual mess. Most often that kind of mess is metaphorical. Not this time.

I would love to say that the day got easier. But, it didn't. But, we all survived. I cried more and never quite recaptured the sense of humor I had at the beginning of the day. But, one thing I was sure of - My God not only saw my pain, but provided for me someone to come alongside me and share my stinky load. I praise Him for His provision yet again.

The following day brought some more parental stress, but this time with a different twist. I called out to leadership for prayer, then two godly women met me in the nursery to pray for me while my boys played, and revelation took place. It seems that often at our lowest point, the very end of ourselves, God reveals clearly what is next. I will follow up more with what His Word revealed to me about my parenting issues and the scriptures He brought to life to bring about the transformation I have been longing for.

Again, thank you for your time. May God bless you with a sacrificial servants heart and also the ability to receive that kind of ministry should you need it. I LOVE Jesus, how about you?!

3 comments:

Merediths said...

Oh my sweet Jennifer. If I had been there I would have helped you clean the POO. I am so happy that someone saw your need and was willing to help. I am interested to hear your revalation about parenting. I am praying for some as well. I love you my friend. Thank you for your encouraging words and blogging. I love to stay updated in your life!!

Rebecca said...

THAT ...is just plain awesome Jenn:) Thanks for sharing! I have just been in AWE myself over the Lord's LOVE for us in all the mundane details of life..even the messy ones! Hahaha! I think it's the coolest thing that He uses His children to bless us...you are SUCH a blessing to mom's already in your REALNESS and transparency, and I am SOOOO excited how God's going to use this part of you in His ministry in the future as well!

Anonymous said...

Jennifer, I am so touched by this. I want to tell YOU something, sister, and that is that I REALLY appreciate your honesty and your vulnerabilty! I love reading your sincere and open writings on your blog, and I want you to know that I was so blessed when you broke down in that restroom. Honestly, I was feeling like I might be in the way and annoying you (not because of you, but because I am still in a process of dealing with my own issues!). So, if it were not for your vulnerability and honesty, I don't think I would have had the courage to minister to you. YOU blessed ME that day when you opened up to me.

I know the Lord loves this vulnerability and honesty about you as well. Be blessed! You are such a blessing!

Who am I?

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I am a wife and mother of 3. I have been married to my best friend for over 25 years and our children are 12, 11 and 9 years old. I have struggled with infertility, suffered the loss of a baby by miscarriage, and endured multiple career paths. I have experienced a crisis of faith that shook me to the core and lost a dear friend to a tragic death. I have had a personal relationship with Jesus for most of my life. The Bible and my relationship with Christ has been essential to my surviving and even thriving in my circumstances. I hope you will be blessed by joining me in this process of life. I thank you for showing up to read what I have written.