Thursday, January 26, 2012

What a Week!

The pain of this week has seemed unbearable.

1)      Letting go of a house I really saw as the answer to our cramped quarters, the space we long for to use for ministry and the blessing of a kitchen I can really work in without feeling claustrophobic.

2)      Letting go of my baby I lost 5 years ago – all over again. Somehow this year it is palpable. I think it has to do with praying for so many close ones who are suffering loss at the moment.

3)      Pressing in on the last week of a fast I have been doing. The first 14 days have been hard but this final week feels like I am drawing from every resource I have(and don't have!) to see it to the end.

4)       Managing a “monthly cycle” that is random and hormonal swings that are tantamount to insane.

5)      Trusting God with it all when I am angry & sad.

The joys of this week have come in waves like the pain.

1)      A man named Mike Howard came to our church and was such a huge encouragement! He literally busted wide open my heart for God and I know I loved Him lots before! I am changed!

2)      I have a dear friend who experienced some spectacular healing from the Lord this week. Something I have prayed for her for months. What a delight to see her sparkle where grief and despair used to overtake her appearance!

3)      My husband and I prayed. We heard from God. We made a decision in unison even though it was incredibly hard. There is gratitude, even in the hard choices.

4)      My fellas have touched my heart deeply this week. Reaching out to pray for me when I am struggling and reminding me how much they love me, all the time.

5)   I realized that for the first time in my adult life, I am not using food for anything besides fuel for my body.

6)      I am so thankful for the blessing of living my life.  Every. Single. Day. Even when I have to smile through the tears.

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Who am I?

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I have been married to my best friend for over 29 years and our children are 16, 15 and 12 years old. I have struggled with infertility, suffered the loss of a baby by miscarriage, and endured multiple career paths. I have experienced a crisis of faith that shook me to the core and lost dear friends to tragic death. I have a personal relationship with Jesus which is essential to surviving and even thriving in my circumstances. I hope you will be blessed by my heart and words. Thank you for being here..