“I believe it is my job (God’s job) to preserve my soul because…”
One sentence jumped off the page for me in this first section:
“In other words, spiritual growth and health is complicated by the question of whose job it is to keep our lives form falling into nothing.”
I firmly believe it is a dance –
A pairing of human and the Divine. Each step is not choreographed but anticipated. God and I move together. He holds me with effortless finesse. Sometimes I glide with Him, secure in His arms, following each step as He leads and other times I pull away, my awkward steps squishing His toes and turning our smooth rotation across the dance floor of my life into a one-sided display of ineptitude. The time elapsed depends on the day or even the season of my life – but eventually I see the tender beckoning look in His eyes and remember the security of His embrace and I scamper back into the open arms of the Lover of my soul. And, after a few stumbling steps into repentance and receiving His forgiveness, we move fluidly together once again, like the long time lovers we are.
I have loved Him my entire life. I don’t remember a time when I didn’t. I have been temperamental, moody and even defiant in our relationship, but because He is God, He allows me to be who I am. He keeps loving me and covering me with His grace so I don’t have to reap all I have sown. He showers me with blessings I could never earn.
This is what causes me to believe that it is my job to preserve my soul AND His. My part is to reach for Him in whatever capacity I can on any given day. Whether it be a simple cry for help, an acknowledgment of His presence, or a long winded plea of desperation, I must choose Him and receive what He has for me.
Then the rest of the responsibility lies with Him. Once I receive what He has eternally offered to me (salvation) I can rest in Him. He will nourish me throughout the days and seasons, bringing conviction in the moments of choice, reminding me His arms are where I want to be – not spinning randomly and awkwardly across the dance floor of my life on my own.
That is why I am reading this book. The reminders to stop and consider the parts and pieces of my life and how they fit together – including the sounds of little boy voices, questions and excitement throughout the day, kisses from my Love as he heads off on an errand and the dance goes on…