Saturday, February 19, 2011

God in the Yard - Week 2 - Question 1

“I believe it is my job (God’s job) to preserve my soul because…”

One sentence jumped off the page for me in this first section: 

“In other words, spiritual growth and health is complicated by the question of whose job it is to keep our lives form falling into nothing.”

I firmly believe it is a dance –

A pairing of human and the Divine. Each step is not choreographed but anticipated. God and I move together. He holds me with effortless finesse. Sometimes I glide with Him, secure in His arms, following each step as He leads and other times I pull away, my awkward steps squishing His toes and turning our smooth rotation across the dance floor of my life into a one-sided display of ineptitude. The time elapsed depends on the day or even the season of my life – but eventually I see the tender beckoning look in His eyes and remember the security of His embrace and I scamper back into the open arms of the Lover of my soul. And, after a few stumbling steps into repentance and receiving His forgiveness, we move fluidly together once again, like the long time lovers we are.

I have loved Him my entire life. I don’t remember a time when I didn’t. I have been temperamental, moody and even defiant in our relationship, but because He is God, He allows me to be who I am. He keeps loving me and covering me with His grace so I don’t have to reap all I have sown. He showers me with blessings I could never earn.

This is what causes me to believe that it is my job to preserve my soul AND His. My part is to reach for Him in whatever capacity I can on any given day. Whether it be a simple cry for help, an acknowledgment of His presence, or a long winded plea of desperation, I must choose Him and receive what He has for me.

Then the rest of the responsibility lies with Him. Once I receive what He has eternally offered to me (salvation) I can rest in Him. He will nourish me throughout the days and seasons, bringing conviction in the moments of choice, reminding me His arms are where I want to be – not spinning randomly and awkwardly across the dance floor of my life on my own.

That is why I am reading this book. The reminders to stop and consider the parts and pieces of my life and how they fit together – including the sounds of little boy voices, questions and excitement throughout the day, kisses from my Love as he heads off on an errand and the dance goes on…


Unknown said...

"I firmly believe it is a dance..."

Yes! I do too, jennifer. And I love the way you describe this dance. I think he does the leading. My part is in the follow. The choosing, as you say.

Such a beautiful description of grace and the receiving of it. Blessings, friend!

L.L. Barkat said...

This is absolutely wonderful. You've given voice to what I wasn't able to. Thank you. :)

Keep dancing, it's so tender.

Jennifer - Live Courageous! said...

Thank you so much! Such beautiful compliments from both of you! I am so blessed to be on this journey. It is even more special to share it with you!

Who am I?

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I have been married to my best friend for over 29 years and our children are 16, 15 and 12 years old. I have struggled with infertility, suffered the loss of a baby by miscarriage, and endured multiple career paths. I have experienced a crisis of faith that shook me to the core and lost dear friends to tragic death. I have a personal relationship with Jesus which is essential to surviving and even thriving in my circumstances. I hope you will be blessed by my heart and words. Thank you for being here..