I am not going to lie. There are many days that I look to the heavens and I say, "I begged You for THIS!??"
But not today.
Today was different.
Usually after 6pm my nerves are shot. Star Wars light saber sounds have taken their toll, the wrestling, running, jumping, feats of strength and general mayhem often end with little warriors having time outs and other assorted consequences.
But not today.
Today there was peace in our home. The Warriors swung their light sabers, the sound affects ringing in my ears, grunting, sweating, laughing and even flying were done without crisis, irritation or even injury.
Usually when Daddy leaves early to go to work there is tension, usually mine, about having to "run the show" for the week. My nerves are on edge about what is coming for the week that I know about and wondering about the unknown surprises lurking around the bend. I know this sounds horribly pessimistic from such an optomist, but when my Love flys away for days at a time it often takes me at least 24 hours to settle into some sort of "groove" and then usually a day or two later he is home again, to do things his way. :)
Today though, I actually feel changed. Deeply changed. As if that old place of anxiety in me is gone, or at least taking a nap for a bit. Last night I made sure to get enough "good night" kisses for the week all at once, then woke up this morning well aware that he would be gone before dinner. No anxiety snuck in the back door, no tension pushed at my nerves, no hyper-sensitive reactions took place as I went about the evenings tasks.
Instead I cooked a chicken veggie soup to eat for the week, listening to my Jedi's battle in the confined space of our living room, my youngest Jedi begging for the most recently fashioned paper light saber, enjoying their playtime and my cooking.
After dinner it was time for jammies and two of my three fellas donned their Batman jammies. Purchased at a consignment sale, my smallest Batman no longer has a cape, but his big brother who decided on GI Joe garb (no cape included) got out his Superman cape and attached it to a very happy Batman. Bigger Batman carried his black cape into the kitchen with a grin requesting I attach it to his shirt. Once the velcro was connected my super hero took off to join his brothers fending off imaginary foe.
Shorter Batman-Superman came running around the corner to tell me in his delighted two year old voice that "Mommy I can fly! Watch me!" So I watch as he goes running down the hall cape flying like a kite behind him. I say, "Peter YOU are amazing!" to which he yells, "Yes I am!"
I pray this night is imbeded in my heart. I am fairly certain there will be other nights to enjoy the warrior superheros. Tonight though, there is something special about seeing the fruit of my peace reflected in the eyes, hearts and bodies of my sons, now THAT is a wonderful sight to behold!
Sunday, November 7, 2010
Who am I?
- Jennifer - Live Courageous!
- I am a wife and mother of 3. I have been married to my best friend for over 25 years and our children are 12, 11 and 9 years old. I have struggled with infertility, suffered the loss of a baby by miscarriage, and endured multiple career paths. I have experienced a crisis of faith that shook me to the core and lost a dear friend to a tragic death. I have had a personal relationship with Jesus for most of my life. The Bible and my relationship with Christ has been essential to my surviving and even thriving in my circumstances. I hope you will be blessed by joining me in this process of life. I thank you for showing up to read what I have written.