Friday, June 27, 2008

Challenges and Changes...

Well, I have sucessfully managed to survive the first few days of my "diet". My children are happy and doing well and so is my husband. Only by the grace of God and this amazing product He led me to. If you want to know more about the business I started and what I am taking you are welcome to ask via e-mail. I just don't want this to be an advertizement. This is about my process.

The Lord has shown me in the past few days how habitually I go to food for just about everything. Exhaustion, reward, friendship, etc. He has also shown me that my being overweight is incredibly selfish. My lack of energy, my lack of fitness, my overall emotional and mental outlook are overwhelmingly affected by my weight. Not to mention my family. My husband adores me but I know he would love it if I was more confident in my self and how I look and he would love it if I was smaller to do more stuff with him. I know my boys would love to have me run and play with them more. Even though I know they aren't aware of anything different - I am.

Everytime I have been hungry ( I am still finishing up nursing my youngest) and everytime I have wanted to reach for a snack I have asked the Lord to remind me of His provision for all my needs. Not just for food, but for the things I get from food that aren't nutritionally related. I am so thankful for a God of grace who never changes and can see the beginning from the end and the end from the beginning.

He is so good to let me walk through breaking down the walls of self protection and self preservation with food. He is revealing how much damage was done when I was in a relationship over 18 years ago that was all about " you'd look better if..." and a childhood friend that kept trying to make me into her. UGH! It is amazing how big some of this baggage is and yet it is even more amazing how much BIGGER our God is. I used to have the feeling that every bit of healing God does is intense, painful, and exposing my sin is critical. That is not true. God can heal without any twisting or turning of my guts, He can heal wether I am paying attention to my wounds or not. He can heal when I sleep and when I am awake. There are never any limitations on Him other than the ones I try to pin on Him and fail to see the work He is doing in my life.

Dear friends, I have been on this diet for 3 days and though I have lost just over 7 pounds, I feel like I have gained so much more. Besides the time I am spending on the treadmill reading the Word and building up my physical body, I am learning how to walk more and more in the power and strength God has already placed in me instead of using food as my source. The vitamins and whole foods that make up the stuff I am taking is infusing me with the health God created me for and He is infusing me with the faith to walk out the life He created for me. In response, I am often in a state of worship in my spirit, knowing He is restoring me in every way. I am repenting for my sins of seeking my own self sustenance and pride of spiritual over-focus while my temple is in ruins.

Our pastor said that it is often our greatest weakness God uses for His greatest good work in us and for others. I am wondering what God will use my weakness in this area for... no doubt for His own Glory!!
Thanks for joining me on this journey!

1 comment:

Jen said...

You go girl! Keep up the good work! :)

Who am I?

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I have been married to my best friend for over 29 years and our children are 16, 15 and 12 years old. I have struggled with infertility, suffered the loss of a baby by miscarriage, and endured multiple career paths. I have experienced a crisis of faith that shook me to the core and lost dear friends to tragic death. I have a personal relationship with Jesus which is essential to surviving and even thriving in my circumstances. I hope you will be blessed by my heart and words. Thank you for being here..