I hate hearing fighting as I step into the shower.
I hate feeling like I am failing more than I succeed.
I hate missing their hearts and focusing on their behavior instead because it's in my face.
I hate that I am selfish - sometimes I want my comfort more than their training.
I hate knowing that someday they won't need me, even though that is what I am raising them to do.
I hate loving them so much it hurts.
I hate my pride that is exposed every time they resist my correction in public.
I love hearing Legos dumped out looking for that one important piece.
I love each of us singing and praying on the way to school.
I love the sound of rowdy Nerf-gun play coming from the basement.
I love the prayers prayed over sleeping heads.
I love the smiles that show me my efforts are not in vain.
I love the angry frowny faces that reveal the needs of their hearts.
I love the remiders of how long I prayed for them - before they came - even when it hurts.
I love my God who not only gave me the one child I cried out for, but three more from my womb and many more birthed in my heart.
Wednesday, February 8, 2012
Who am I?
- Jennifer - Live Courageous!
- I am a wife and mother of 3. I have been married to my best friend for over 25 years and our children are 12, 11 and 9 years old. I have struggled with infertility, suffered the loss of a baby by miscarriage, and endured multiple career paths. I have experienced a crisis of faith that shook me to the core and lost a dear friend to a tragic death. I have had a personal relationship with Jesus for most of my life. The Bible and my relationship with Christ has been essential to my surviving and even thriving in my circumstances. I hope you will be blessed by joining me in this process of life. I thank you for showing up to read what I have written.