Saturday, November 19, 2011

Keeping it Real and Thankful


Well, I missed Friday, but since it's Saturday, I am going to say close enough!





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My friend Kira at Kissing the Joy as it Flies inspired me to get this blog written. I have been in a "BLOGJAM" for weeks... I have several floating around but none seem to find their way to the computer.

  • My 3 yr old has now moved on to explaining in very meticulous detail why I am a bad mommy for not letting him do whatever he wants. I have had to move past the "time out" consequence to something a little more impactful. I must admit though, I am moderately amused by his ability to articulate his distress and sometimes I let him finish expressing himself just to see where he ends up. Often, "I love you Mommy!" is the final thing that comes out of his mouth. I think he is pretty sure that will reduce the consequence portion of our "moment" together, but it doesn't. It never really has. But, he keeps trying. 
  • I have had a migraine and tension headache combo for 5 days now. My patience is short and my dish pile is high. 
  • I'm holding down the home front while my Love labors elsewhere
  • I am tracking my calories and trying to workout. I did have to leave spin class before I puked or fell off earlier this week. But I did manage to swim 700yards yesterday - I just needed to MOVE!
  • We made it through our parent teacher conferences (so glad my fellas have great teachers, I know their job isn't easy)
  • I had to miss ministry commitments 
  • I am trying to keep up on the house (except the dishes ;)
  • I keep beating myself up. A lot. About how I am not doing enough for my kids, how I should be training them better about life, about how I am only mediocre at many things but should be excellent, etc. I can't seem to shake it off sometimes.
  • I watched an info-mercial about a product I already have and thought, "hey, I should do that"... duh.
  • I love the snow. 
  • I hate when people complain about the weather. Seriously. BE THANKFUL for WHATEVER comes! NOW!
  • I am not expecting a thousand comments telling me I am a good mom. I just have to keep it real here. 
  •  I am worried I won't make my goal weight for my last weight loss challenge. I am SO close, but stress, and not eating it (which is what I usually do) is really messing with me!!!!!!!
  •  In keeping with the above comment about BE THANKFUL --- Here they are!
    I AM THANKFUL FOR:
Bedtime, sleeping cherubs are soooo very amazing!
Silly faces and pretending you don't need your sleeves.

Snowball fights with the trailer and the side of the house.

Ohhh, I just love him. Our marriage isn't easy, but it's worth it.

A carpet of glorious leaves. A birdhouse gift over 10 years old that still blesses me - every day.

Getting to fall in love - every single day.

Life is hard sometimes. And I may not always have the best attitude. But really, at the end of the day, I am thankful. So very thankful.

Friday, November 4, 2011

Halloween Education and Humiliation and Wonder Woman Wannabe

This week's "Fess Up Friday" is a little different - a few funny revelations and some important ones as well.



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This was a wild week.

Kicking off the week with a 9 day cleanse (on this wonderful nutritional supplement I take) focused me on what I need to be committed to. A few days in I wrote this blog outlining what those things are. It helped clarify and direct my purpose. I am so glad... because several things would come up...

FESS UP 1) To "celebrate" Halloween or not? - Well, we don't. Mostly. I hate the holiday and am always annoyed when it shows up and so glad when it's over. But this year, little boys being older, they had good questions...

---- Mommy, can we put a graveyard in our front yard too?
---- Can I be a vampire?
---- When are we going to decorate for Halloween?
----- How come I can't watch "Scream"?

Ugh. At first I was annoyed. But, as I prayed I asked God to show me what to say, in their language and understanding.
Here were my answers as close as I remember:
--- Graveyards represent death. We celebrate life because Jesus is Life. So we will never have a graveyard in our yard.
---- No, vampires are not fun characters. They love darkness and we love light. You are not going to pretend to be one because you are a child of God, you love the Light that is Jesus in your heart.
---- We don't "decorate" for Halloween other than pumpkins because we don't want to celebrate "death". Pumpkin carving is something we can enjoy doing as a family and it is okay to want a grumpy pumpkin carved, because sometimes we are grumpy. (For those of you who notice the Frankenstein pumpkin, the closest my kids have come to an understanding of who he is was an episode of Phineas and Ferb. Goofy and silly style - we did not elaborate on who he is or what he means - it didn't come up-whew!)
---- Uh, where did you even hear about the movie "Scream"? Yikes, kids in your class in 2nd grade have seen it? Oh and then there was that fund raiser toy duck that had the 'scream' face... (GRRRR!!!) NO, you will not watch it. It is yucky and would give you worse nightmares than the time you watched Scooby Doo with the babysitter.

I realize these are not completely perfect answers. But, they communicated my heart and satisfied theirs. My oldest mentioned on Halloween morning he was worried about going to school that day and seeing icky and scary costumes. I asked him what he was going to do, he said he would look away. I asked him after school. He looked away.

FESS UP 2) Can I just say, I really wanted to keep them home from school that day. Seriously. To just skip it completely. But, I knew I wasn't supposed to. They go to public school because they are little shining lights in a world that needs Jesus. I love the tales they come home with and they are truly little blessings in spite of their flaws according to all of the school staff that work with them. Trust me, I have spent a lot of time with those very kind people. God bless them, every one!

Here are some photos for your amusement and leading up to the next "Fess Up"

My puppy was wagging his tail. OH MY GOSH - It was hilarious!





Air Clone Warriors
 Smores cooked over the fire pit. So fun!



FESS UP 3) We did not attend our own church's Harvest party.
I know, it seems crazy. We adore our church. Everyone there feels like dear friends and family, but this year we needed to keep the kids close to home (our church is 20min away) because they were on the verge of getting sick and so we went to the small friendly church where they attend AWANA once a week. We had a wonderful time and we were ten minutes round trip from home. As you can see, everyone had a blast. We got to meet some more precious members of the Body of Christ.

FESS UP 4)I personally loved hearing a little old guy on a plug in speaker playing his guitar and singing Gaither songs from my youth. If you don't know who the "Gaithers" are, go ahead an google them. And don't tell me you did, it will make me feel old.

FESS UP 5) I had no idea I needed to school my children on Trick or Treat protocol. Initially I was going to bag it and let them watch Star Wars for the 938th time. My Love was out of town and I wasn't going to go it alone, but another mommy with her Love working that night agreed she would if I would, so off we went to her house to troll the neighborhood for candy. (Our neighborhood bought their houses brand new and have now paid them off, if you know what I mean. But we did go across the street and they had some candy for us)

It seemed like a harmless plan until...
Two of my three children went RUNNING up to the house hitting the doorbell like they were alerting them to the Apocalypse! THEN they ran INTO their house!!! Yes, all the way in, to their living room. Total strangers. Fabulous! I was glad it was dark and they couldn't see my face and only heard me hollering for them to back out and be sure to say "thank you"! I was SO embarrassed. Again, glad no one could see me. This happened several times. I had several warning huddles at which time they quit going in houses and hitting the doorbells multiple times but then they began running ahead, around the corners, knocking other kids out of their way, another conversation, oh and then, I got a little closer and realized they were sorting through the generously offered candy informing the kind givers what they wanted and didn't want. WOW! I had no idea - none at all - that my non-shy, honest, super confident little guys would make me seriously make me consider the NEED to dress up next year.


FESS UP 6) My friend Kira, author of the Fess Up Friday, posted this blog today. She told me not to cry, but I did anyway. I don't cry often at blogs. I swear. But this one, touched me. There is something about her writing that moves me. Our lives are so similar in many ways. Her blogs speak to deep places in me that make me a better mom. She is one of my heroes.

FESS UP 7) I have been following a very important series written by a blogger Kira led me to. Her blog is called Wonder Woman Wannabe.

She spent all of October writing a series called 31 Days to Finding Balance as a Home Manager. This series changed me. I could write an entire blog just on it, which hopefully I will soon, but basically put, since I quit working to be a stay at home mom I have shunned the idea of managing anything. A type B personality wedged into an Executive Secretary position for most of my employment career, all I wanted to do when I had babies was to not administrate, answer phones, or work in human resources... Well, we all know that is delusional, but who isn't as they approach the end of their first pregnancy! She taught me key things about auditing my time (where does it go?!) which I started and then quit because I had sick kids that made my whole world come to a halt. She challenged me to see myself in an important role - home manager. It got me thinking after roughly seven years of a survival mindset, I needed to make some changes. I alluded to them in the #1 Fess Up. She encouraged me to make a road map for my days, which I always do when I leave someone else in charge. And honestly, all 31 posts were a HUGE blessing to me. I have implemented many of them and reaped rewards of more order in my home and a clearer head when dealing with curve balls. The last ones, from 19-31 were short, sweet and powerful in their various impacts on me. I now have another hero. Another woman in my life that calls out the best in me and expects me to be all God created me to be regardless of how I "feel" on any given day.

FESS UP 8) I am not going to compulsively read this through 5 times to make all my edits. My Love is home and I'd rather snuggle. Please pardon any oversights and over-wordy-ness. 

I am so grateful for this past week!

Who am I?

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I have been married to my best friend for over 29 years and our children are 16, 15 and 12 years old. I have struggled with infertility, suffered the loss of a baby by miscarriage, and endured multiple career paths. I have experienced a crisis of faith that shook me to the core and lost dear friends to tragic death. I have a personal relationship with Jesus which is essential to surviving and even thriving in my circumstances. I hope you will be blessed by my heart and words. Thank you for being here..