To Go or Not to Go... that is the question....

Every year for the past 4 years we have traveled to the inner city in Southeast Washington DC to be a part of the Urban Outreach (UO) Christmas Stocking Outreach. We have been involved with UO for about 12 years, making 1-2 trips each year (if you want more details on the history of our relationship with the ministry please contact me). Here is the link to their website: http://www.urbanoutreach.org/

Year 1, Erik went because I was newly pregnant with John, our oldest and wasn't up to traveling. Year 2, we took John (6mos old) with us. Year 3 we brought John (18mos) and James (4 mos) and a friend with her daughters. Year 4, Erik took John (3 1/2) with him since I was too pregnant to fly, and a friend and his kids. Each year we felt passionate about our children having access to a lifestyle different from our own. There is not much cultural diversity in North Idaho to be sure!

Anyway, all that to say that this year, with all three boys (John 4 1/2, James 3 1/2, and Peter 10mos) the issue of finances to make the trip, the challenge of the trip, and the impact we will have while on the trip (since lots of time and energy can be spent chasing our precious 3 and trying to keep on top of their antics - my daily challenge :) is all unknown.

We are neck deep in Dave Ramsey's Financial Peace University right now and we feel like we are not to put the trip on our credit card like we have in the past and then wait for the funds to come in to cover it. God has never left us hanging - there are always funds that come, but this year we are convicted to do it differently.

So, basically I covet your prayers and seek your counsel on the situation. We do not want to take our kids into the war zone that southeast DC can be without express direction from the Lord and we need Him to provide the approximately $3000 it will take for us to make the trip. We are eager to hear His voice on this and though it seems like last minute in the planning stages for the trip (we would leave Dec 10 and be back Dec 14 - the actual outreach is Dec 13), we are still waiting on Him for what we are to do this year.

Thanks so much for caring enough to read what I have written and I look forward to your response as you feel led. God bless you!

"Full"ness...

Are you empty? I am. But I am here to remind you that that is the best place to be.

My empty = God is full in me. The more empty I am the more FULL He is in me.

The more full I am of myself the less space for the Creator who belongs on the throne of my heart. He is so loving and gentle He never does what my son's do when they want the seat one of them is sitting on - Yank with all their might and land the other brother solidly on the floor smack on his caboose! Sure, some days I am positive I could use a swift drop on my caboose. But, my loving, patient God wants me to choose to love Him more than myself and remove myself from the throne of my heart and allow Him to take the seat that belongs to my Lord and Savior.

And I do call Him Lord. That means I bow... to Him alone. Not to others opinions of me, not even to my husband's opinion of me. Only He matters. When I am focused on seeking Him first, serving Him before others, and allowing Him to stay seated on the throne of my heart, the rest of my world remains in order.

I am committed to living in His "full"ness. I love being full of Him. My life, in my own hands under my own "leadership" is empty. So, I choose Him. As often as I can, to the best of my ability, every day, I need more of Him and less of me.

Do you need Him on the throne of your heart? Daily? Ask Him. He wants you to be full of Him in every way, in every part of your life. He loves you.

God bless you, beloved of Christ.

Fat thoughts while fasting (say that 10 times fast!)

I am currently focusing on a full cleanse of my body and mind. These are a few things that have occurred to me... It is pretty REAL, so beware...
It is meant to be funny, serious, and honest. Think of it as dictionary definitions (sort of). I pray you will be blessed for taking the time to read it and that the Lord will use it for His glory.

Resistance – what happens when there is something you don’t want to do, you waste a bunch of energy not doing it and then give in anyway.

Why am I so attached to food? How disgusting. I actually don’t like it much. But apparently I do. Maybe I just resent it? Can you resent an object? Hm... when I fast, like today – all I can think about is food and will I be different tomorrow because I starved today?

Pressing in – Diving deep into Christ knowing that the alternative would be disastrous.

Desperation – wanting so badly to change and yet wondering if I am desperate enough this time for it to last.

Fear – looking good, looking bad, being run by food or lack of it, annoyed by its side effects, transient, random, and wasting my energy on things that I can’t control.

Resentment- looking in the mirror feeling frustrated that I have to deal with this issue – and yet prevailing wisdom is “thank God it’s just fat and not some other scary issue!”

Fat – the presence of extra “medication” that works against one’s well being, mind set, and physical abilities. Acts as a hindrance to playing on slides and swings with your children and being able to make love in confined spaces.

Crazy – the act of continually expecting change without the pain of accomplishing it.

Power – nothing a human possesses for any length of time. Something only God possesses ALL the time.

Grace – what you say before you eat whatever you want and what you pray will keep you from reaping all the Ding Dongs you have sown.

Hungry – the point at which your body decides to grumble along with you while you are fasting. A place your spirit must be to motivate change.

Happy – Knowing that you know that you know that tomorrow will be a better day because God’s mercies are new every morning!

Need – a fluid term that can be swayed by hormones, mood, desires, cravings, and comfort level. The real life, no kidding, recognition that you want God to take over because you are making a wreck of things yourself.

Thorn - the place in your life that is a constant ache designed by God to draw you into Him on your knees so you don't get too full of yourself and think you don't need Him. This is not His form of torture! Only a consistent reminder that only His Grace is sufficient (2Cor 12:9), only His mercies are new (Lam 3:22-23), and only He can restore, heal, and reconcile all things (Col 1:19-20).

Love - the Cross. Designed by God for us to bring freedom to be intimately His in relationship and lead by Him in our actions.

Praise God from Whom all blessings flow! Praise Him all creatures here, below! Praise Him above ye heavenly host! Praise Father, Son, and Holy Ghost! Amen!