My husband and James headed off to Washington DC to do this year's missions trip to Urban Outreach. God provided just enough for them to go. He is so good to meet our needs. John, Peter and I have had a great few days together and by all reports, Erik and James have had lots of great Daddy-Son time too. They come home tomorrow night and I will be glad to have us all back under one roof.
OK, today is almost over. It has been nice. Snow day, baked cookies with John, played with my boys, laughed a little, cried a little (grieving for baby Owen, Jake, and my baby Joy), enjoyed the Christmas music, looked at the tree, a friend brought John and I dinner just because, and I plan to curl up with a blanket on the sofa and watch a movie - or paint my toenails red - or both before the day is done.
But what is next? Bed of course, but really, the Lord mapped out my day nicely for me. Will He map out the day tomorrow as well? Sure. But will I listen? I hope so.
All that to say, I am thinking about Christmas and how, when Jesus was born there was already a plan in place for what was next. The Father, the Son, and Holy Spirit had it all mapped out. They had a plan. Joseph, Mary, Peter, James, John, Paul, and countless others would play an important role in the plan but they had no idea what was coming.
My point? God has a plan. I don't have to know what it is. I just have to wake up listening for His voice each morning trusting Him to reveal what I need to know when I need to know it.
I miss my baby. She would be 15mos old right now. Owen should be just about 9 months old, and Jake should have just turned 21. But God has a plan. Some of the reasons for our losses will be revealed here on earth. Some won't. But trusting the character of the Creator of our life will be the only way to survive with any kind of peace in the storms.
I love my Peter. He was God's plan for "what's next" after I lost Joy back to the arms of Heaven. He is a priceless gift that reminds me every day that God sees me. He knows my heart and every breath I take. He is just one example of the "what's next" that can happen as we wait on the Lord. One of my favorite songs that my friend Fay sings is:
Strength will rise as we wait upon the Lord, as we wait upon the Lord, as we wait upon the Lord
Waiting in faith brings strength. We, most of us at least, don't like to wait. BUT, when we do, there is a blessing. Our faith is strengthened, our focus is directed at the One who loves us with an everlasting love and we receive peace.
Try not to look too far past this wonderful season and wonder what is next. Fix your eyes on the Author and Perfecter of our faith and let your strength rise as you wait on Him to see what's next!
Saturday, December 13, 2008
Friday, November 21, 2008
To Go or Not to Go... that is the question....
Every year for the past 4 years we have traveled to the inner city in Southeast Washington DC to be a part of the Urban Outreach (UO) Christmas Stocking Outreach. We have been involved with UO for about 12 years, making 1-2 trips each year (if you want more details on the history of our relationship with the ministry please contact me). Here is the link to their website: http://www.urbanoutreach.org/
Year 1, Erik went because I was newly pregnant with John, our oldest and wasn't up to traveling. Year 2, we took John (6mos old) with us. Year 3 we brought John (18mos) and James (4 mos) and a friend with her daughters. Year 4, Erik took John (3 1/2) with him since I was too pregnant to fly, and a friend and his kids. Each year we felt passionate about our children having access to a lifestyle different from our own. There is not much cultural diversity in North Idaho to be sure!
Anyway, all that to say that this year, with all three boys (John 4 1/2, James 3 1/2, and Peter 10mos) the issue of finances to make the trip, the challenge of the trip, and the impact we will have while on the trip (since lots of time and energy can be spent chasing our precious 3 and trying to keep on top of their antics - my daily challenge :) is all unknown.
We are neck deep in Dave Ramsey's Financial Peace University right now and we feel like we are not to put the trip on our credit card like we have in the past and then wait for the funds to come in to cover it. God has never left us hanging - there are always funds that come, but this year we are convicted to do it differently.
So, basically I covet your prayers and seek your counsel on the situation. We do not want to take our kids into the war zone that southeast DC can be without express direction from the Lord and we need Him to provide the approximately $3000 it will take for us to make the trip. We are eager to hear His voice on this and though it seems like last minute in the planning stages for the trip (we would leave Dec 10 and be back Dec 14 - the actual outreach is Dec 13), we are still waiting on Him for what we are to do this year.
Thanks so much for caring enough to read what I have written and I look forward to your response as you feel led. God bless you!
Year 1, Erik went because I was newly pregnant with John, our oldest and wasn't up to traveling. Year 2, we took John (6mos old) with us. Year 3 we brought John (18mos) and James (4 mos) and a friend with her daughters. Year 4, Erik took John (3 1/2) with him since I was too pregnant to fly, and a friend and his kids. Each year we felt passionate about our children having access to a lifestyle different from our own. There is not much cultural diversity in North Idaho to be sure!
Anyway, all that to say that this year, with all three boys (John 4 1/2, James 3 1/2, and Peter 10mos) the issue of finances to make the trip, the challenge of the trip, and the impact we will have while on the trip (since lots of time and energy can be spent chasing our precious 3 and trying to keep on top of their antics - my daily challenge :) is all unknown.
We are neck deep in Dave Ramsey's Financial Peace University right now and we feel like we are not to put the trip on our credit card like we have in the past and then wait for the funds to come in to cover it. God has never left us hanging - there are always funds that come, but this year we are convicted to do it differently.
So, basically I covet your prayers and seek your counsel on the situation. We do not want to take our kids into the war zone that southeast DC can be without express direction from the Lord and we need Him to provide the approximately $3000 it will take for us to make the trip. We are eager to hear His voice on this and though it seems like last minute in the planning stages for the trip (we would leave Dec 10 and be back Dec 14 - the actual outreach is Dec 13), we are still waiting on Him for what we are to do this year.
Thanks so much for caring enough to read what I have written and I look forward to your response as you feel led. God bless you!
Wednesday, November 19, 2008
"Full"ness...
Are you empty? I am. But I am here to remind you that that is the best place to be.
My empty = God is full in me. The more empty I am the more FULL He is in me.
The more full I am of myself the less space for the Creator who belongs on the throne of my heart. He is so loving and gentle He never does what my son's do when they want the seat one of them is sitting on - Yank with all their might and land the other brother solidly on the floor smack on his caboose! Sure, some days I am positive I could use a swift drop on my caboose. But, my loving, patient God wants me to choose to love Him more than myself and remove myself from the throne of my heart and allow Him to take the seat that belongs to my Lord and Savior.
And I do call Him Lord. That means I bow... to Him alone. Not to others opinions of me, not even to my husband's opinion of me. Only He matters. When I am focused on seeking Him first, serving Him before others, and allowing Him to stay seated on the throne of my heart, the rest of my world remains in order.
I am committed to living in His "full"ness. I love being full of Him. My life, in my own hands under my own "leadership" is empty. So, I choose Him. As often as I can, to the best of my ability, every day, I need more of Him and less of me.
Do you need Him on the throne of your heart? Daily? Ask Him. He wants you to be full of Him in every way, in every part of your life. He loves you.
God bless you, beloved of Christ.
My empty = God is full in me. The more empty I am the more FULL He is in me.
The more full I am of myself the less space for the Creator who belongs on the throne of my heart. He is so loving and gentle He never does what my son's do when they want the seat one of them is sitting on - Yank with all their might and land the other brother solidly on the floor smack on his caboose! Sure, some days I am positive I could use a swift drop on my caboose. But, my loving, patient God wants me to choose to love Him more than myself and remove myself from the throne of my heart and allow Him to take the seat that belongs to my Lord and Savior.
And I do call Him Lord. That means I bow... to Him alone. Not to others opinions of me, not even to my husband's opinion of me. Only He matters. When I am focused on seeking Him first, serving Him before others, and allowing Him to stay seated on the throne of my heart, the rest of my world remains in order.
I am committed to living in His "full"ness. I love being full of Him. My life, in my own hands under my own "leadership" is empty. So, I choose Him. As often as I can, to the best of my ability, every day, I need more of Him and less of me.
Do you need Him on the throne of your heart? Daily? Ask Him. He wants you to be full of Him in every way, in every part of your life. He loves you.
God bless you, beloved of Christ.
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Who am I?
- Jennifer - Live Courageous!
- I have been married to my best friend for over 29 years and our children are 16, 15 and 12 years old. I have struggled with infertility, suffered the loss of a baby by miscarriage, and endured multiple career paths. I have experienced a crisis of faith that shook me to the core and lost dear friends to tragic death. I have a personal relationship with Jesus which is essential to surviving and even thriving in my circumstances. I hope you will be blessed by my heart and words. Thank you for being here..